I’m asking God for one thing,
only one thing:
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty;
I’ll study at his feet.
— Psalm 27:4 The Message

I want nothing more from you than to enjoy your company. There will be time for you to labor in My vineyard but unless it’s done from love it won’t be sustainable.
I don’t need your acts of service (I, actually, have plenty who can serve).
I need, or rather, desire your heart.
Enjoy Me and seek to sit, like Mary, at My feet.
The service part comes and goes. It’s you I want.
— June 4, 2012

You seem to approach everything as a fight or a struggle, something to overcome. “Jacob” is a good nickname for you, he was always wrestling with someone, anyone, even with Me. But that makes relationships difficult. I’m the best fighter around but it’s seldom necessary. Try realizing My ways are peaceable.